It was a busy college football gameday. All the idiots were out, trying to buy more beer than the state limit allows. I had only been working for a half hour when I was sent to the “check-your-own-damn-self-out” to cover a lunch break.

One of my first customers was an late 60-ish woman on a motorized scooter. She glared at me as she scanned her items and got visibly angry when the computerized voice told her to “please place the item in the bagging area. “What is her problem?” I thought. “If she doesn’t like these things, she should go to a register!”

She paid by check so I had to interact with her at the attendant station. She said something while wildly gesturing towards the ceiling. I thought I had misheard her. I  wanted to have misheard her. I asked her to repeat herself.

“Does this place use TV to persecute people?”

No, I had heard her correctly. And the theme of the day is “batshit crazy”.

By the way, you crazy bitch, it’s called surveillance

and you mean prosecute!