“I want snackies 24/7, not just before bedtime. I want fifteen more pillows on the bed. Screw you if you don’t have any place to sleep! Dogthing should be returned to wherever the hell she came from. I demand that weather is always at optimum window opening temperature. I don’t want rain or snow or cold. I ban ringing telephones, loud music, noisy cars, people yelling in other apartments, and all tv shows unless they are about dinosaurs. Baths do not exist, but brushing, grooming and flattering can occur on a regular basis. I must be complimented, praised and/or told I am the most wonderful cat ever at least 57 times a day. That is all. For now……”