Milk: the foulest beverage in the world. I can use cream for mashed potatoes, non-dairy for coffee and soy milk for baking.

Premium paper towels: the cheap ones wipe the dog hair off the floor and the food spills off the stove just as well.

Premium toilet paper: my bum is not that sensitive.

Ice cream: the only good kind is soft serve. When they put built-in twisty cone makers in refrigerators, I’ll buy ice cream for myself.

Pretzels, pork rinds, fritos and bbq chips: pointless, disgusting, smelly and odd, in that order.

Cereal, frozen pancakes, oatmeal, cream of wheat: sugar in the morning makes me nauseous. If I’m going to be sick in the morning, I’ll have a cookie and a glass of wine.

Pop: I really don’t understand the appeal of carbonated beverages. I might drink one every month or two, but mostly stick to water, tea, coffee and sugar-free Kool-Aid.

Things My Husband Would Not Have in the House if Not For Me:

Kim chee: the first time I had him try this Korean pickled cabbage dish he said, “I’m going to have to take my stomach out, rinse it, and put it back in.”

Goat cheese: falls under the stinky, unedible, and utterly disgusting category he maintains.

Nail polish and nail polish remover: probably Michael’s most hated smell and it is one I subject him to once or twice a week.